Rebirthing : Full text of Connell Watkins' statement

Here is the statement Connell Watkins made to Jefferson County District Court Judge Jane Tidball on Monday:

"Good morning, Judge. It's been over a year now that I have been experiencing the dark night of my soul. Profound sorrow and regret and remorse that I feel for the loss of Candace's life and Jeane Newmaker's loss of her only child torments my every waking hour.

"Jeane Newmaker came to me seeking resolution for some behavior problems that her daughter was experiencing in the hope that she could then have a stronger and mor loving relationship with her, because Jeane Newmaker knew that if Candace was to heal the trauma of her earlier years, she would need this relationship. And Jeane Newmaker was very committed to making sure that she would have this with her daughter. I failed Candace and I failed her mother, and I failed to keep Candace out of harm's way.

"In addition to Candace Newmaker, I have spent my life trying to help children. This has required my family to make sacrifices. I have received cards and letters and phone calls from children and families that we have helped. I could never, would never apologize for that. Although not pretty to look at on videotape, we have successfully treated children for over 20 years, and they now have more hope for their future.

"I could not have had people that I loved and trusted more being with me that day of Candace Newmaker's rebirthing. THere was 40 years of experience of working with and parenting disturbed children in that room that day. Although it was good for me to have them there, it was not good for them. I accepted full responsibility for what happened in my office that day, and it brings me great sadness that these friends and associates and their children have suffered pain and terror from events that would follow.
(...)

"As the nightmare goes on, my 85-year-old father, who lives 3,000 miles away, reads an article in Newsweek and then suffers a massive stroke and dies shortly afterwards. Excuse me. (Watkins is crying.) Before and after every court hearing, we have been tried and convicted in the media. And the nightmare goes on when Candace Newmaker's mother, Jeane Newmaker, is charged with felonious -- with criminal negligence.
"Candace's death is a tragedy, and so is her life.
(...)

"To this day, I still am unclear as to the cause of Candace's death. I know that the tape makes it look bad, but there was more going on than the tape was able to show. I do know for sure that if I had at any time thought she was in danger, we would have stopped the session. And if I had one wish, it would be to live that day over again and this time have a happy outcome for Candace and her mother.

"I do not look forward to years in prison away from my daughter and my grandson. I do not look forward to not being able to see my mother again, but I stand here, ready to accept what you require of me."
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